|How did you get there the first time?
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|Author:||Ninetale [ Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:07 pm ]|
|Post subject:||Re: How did you get there the first time?|
Okay, this might be a bad idea, but here goes.
There was this girl who showed up backstage.
I hate to be the stereotypical rock star (heh, I'm FAR from being a star, but you know what I mean), but yeah, I do casual hookups now and then. She wasn't my first. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as we're safe and I'm honest about both our expectations.
Anyway, I'm at my most vulnerable after a show, dizzy and tired and emotional; it's why I have a thing about restricting backstage access, and I'm pretty strict about it. The guys are usually really good about that, so I don't know how she talked her way even as far as the inner door, but somehow she got them to agree to give me her card. Well, not her card. A card from a local dance club (a good one, I'd been there before) and her name scribbled on the back with this weird sort of spider, and a compass rose.
What can I say? I like mysteries, and I was lonely, and she was clearly not your typical groupie.
So after we were done with breakdown I went to the club. One of the guys went with me just in case. I figured I wouldn't even know who she was, or she'd be too shy about having her bluff called, and I'd just dance some and go back to the motel alone. Ha. There was no mistaking her. She came right up to me on the dance floor, and she danced like nothing I'd ever seen, and had these eyes. You can't imagine these eyes. They were golden. I mean really really golden, almost metallic. They glittered. (I swear I wasn't on anything. I don't do drugs. Again, not your stereotypical musician here.) Some kind of colored lenses maybe.
She said a lot of things about dreams and other places and... I thought it was just a metaphor. I mean, everyone says they're different, right? Everyone says it'll be beyond imagining, they'll take you places you've never been, it'll be like nothing you've ever experienced... and sure, she was different, but still, I've heard lines like that before. Hell, I've written lines like that before. It's all just songs. (I've always liked that the French idiom for "nonsense" is Chansons! "Songs!")
The sex was amazing. I... would rather not go into graphic detail here, but let me just say she was completely amazing. And she was so sure of herself. That kind of confidence is thrilling, especially compared to the usual fan interaction. (I try to be nice to the fans, but the implied (sometimes overt) power dynamic-- where they act like they're less than you-- makes me really uncomfortable. We're just a nobody band, for god's sake.) I'd almost have thought she had no idea who I was, if if weren't that she'd found me backstage in the first place. Afterwards, she curled up against my shoulder like a child, which sounds totally incongruous, but it didn't feel weird at all.
(Dvash, for purposes of your research: we're both female, there was fingering, oral sex, and a strap-on involved. Is that enough?)
Anyway, that night was when the dreams started. I didn't think anything of them at first, because there's nothing weird about dreaming of the person you've just had sex with, right? Only the dreams haven't stopped, and I can't get enough of her. The band is leaving in a couple weeks for San Francisco and a whole string of California gigs, and I'm just frantic to see her as often as I can before we go. I'm trying to figure how I can get some more shows in this area, just to see her more. And I've got some weird-ass new songs coming out of my head now. The bassist looked at me like I was nuts when he heard me noodling around on the guitar after dinner last night. I don't think we can work these up; they're not our usual style. I don't think the fans would go for it.
Anyway: what the hell? I've never been this obsessed, this addicted to a person; never cared about saying goodbye when the band moved on. I'm not even entirely sure whether it's her, or the dreams. Or the... city? (Seriously?)
I found this forum because of this tattoo place and-- y'know what, never mind how I found it, it's a whole other story. The point is I'd been worried I must have been dosed with something at the club, or something. Hallucinating. I've heard stories of that happening. But then, there's this, and if this site isn't a joke-- if this isn't part of one of those obnoxious "reality" TV shows or something-- then I'm not crazy and I'm not hallucinating. And that means... I don't even know what that means.
I haven't got time to read all the posts right now, we've got rehearsal in a few minutes and I still need to try and find out if she'll meet me after the show.
I hope to god this isn't a joke.
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